A sea of flowers after the Sydney Siege


Watching the siege unfold last night didn’t feel like real life. The magnitude of what happened took a while to sink in and when it did I was surprised at how quickly I crumbled and felt almost guilty and self-indulgent for being so affected when this was not my tragedy. I shocked myself. Mum explained to me through my tears that some events can open the gateway to release all the emotions we’ve been bottling up.  Continuing to watch the news on TV began to feel too sad, too overwhelming and too passive so as a family we went to the memorial at Martin Place. What an incredibly powerful experience.


It felt like a sacred ground where every type of person came together to grieve and show their support. Behind us in the mile long line of people waiting to put down flowers was a homeless looking man named John. He had cerebral palsy, he walked with difficulty with a cane and looked like he’d lived a hard life but even he came to pay his respects. He didn’t have any flowers so I gave him some from our huge bunch, then another woman did the same. It was a nice moment. A group of people began singing John Lennon’s Imagine while hundreds of us silently let our thoughts wander. The expanse of flowers is unbelievably moving. It was so sad being right there where it all happened but what an amazingly uniting experience on a gorgeous Sydney night. Still getting goosebumps thinking about that gorgeous sea of flowers at the makeshift memorial and the thousands of people standing together in humbled silence after the longest night – something positive and meaningful to come out of such senseless horror. Thinking of the victims and their families tonight x

46 days since egg freezing



It’s been 4 weeks since my last bog entry and 46 days since egg freezing. Sorry it’s been so long between drinks! Half that time I spent still recovering and the other half I had to bury my head in the books and finish my last uni assignment without distraction. Today I’m feeling 1000 times better than the last time I wrote, which is why it’s so important to diarise the bad days in life so you can see how far you’ve come. I’m not completely back to my old self but by tracking my progress I know that I’m getting stronger and fitter every day. I’m going to give you a long list of everything I’ve felt over the past 46 days since my egg retrieval so you can get a real idea of my experience – which of course will likely not be the same as your experience because we’re all so wonderfully different. It’s been a long a difficult recovery so it’s a pretty extensive list but I’m sharing it because it’s something I would’ve liked to read coming from another girl with endo before I embarked on this wild voyage. Reading another person’s experience would not have made my decision for me but it would have prepared me for the things you aren’t warned about. First of all, I hope I didn’t scare anybody off egg freezing with the last description of how I was feeling…