Pill Withdrawals

Day 3 off the Pill

At 4pm after a long day of technical difficulties, ‘Hurricane Suze’ (or hormotional Syl) began to brew. I know myself well enough to know that despite said technical difficulties, they were not stressful enough to warrant the torrent of physical and emotional symptoms that began to take over me.

Today is Day 3 off the pill – which I’ve been taking consistently since I was 15! It’s that feeling that simmers slowly at first but suddenly bubbles till your lid’s rattling and finally it all spills over in a hot mess. As I felt that feeling coming on, (kind of like if you’ve had no food, no sleep, 8 strong coffees and a handful of cigarettes far too quickly) I decided (for the safety of everyone) to drop everything and go for an intense train at the gym to let off some steam. This usually works. It did not work. Although I was physically tired, by the time I got home I was in such a state I even cracked it at my gorgeous Dad for “being in my space” when he was leaning over my laptop to give me a kiss. As the words were coming out of my mouth I knew how ridiculous and awful I sounded but my skin was crawling and I could feel myself getting hotter and pricklier with that lump in my throat becoming fist-shaped. By 10pm when everyone had gone to bed, I lost it. I just sobbed. And sobbed. So I did what sisters in need should always do and called my wonderful friend, GG.

What made today easier was knowing that “it’s not me – it’s the hormones”, having a good cry and a great belly laugh before bed.