Sooo I’m up to Week 4 of @kayla_itsines training guide. Hard to tell if I look that different and no idea if I’ve lost weight because I don’t weigh myself. Chucked my scales out 2 years ago. Don’t really care about a number on a screen (anymore. I did when I was younger and it was dangerously addictive, damaging and incredibly consuming). But I feel so much stronger, healthier, energised and most amazingly – I seem to be in Endo pain remission.
This morning I had my first ultrasound (and a blood test) at Genea. Despite being an internal ultrasound, (if you’ve never had one before you pretty much lie there looking at a screen where you can see all your reproductive organs in black and white while a lovely woman gently pokes around your insides with a huge lubricated, cylindrical, dildo-looking thing that has x-ray vision. It’s pretty amazing) it was totally fine. No discomfort, no pain. And fascinating!
Today, Mum and I attended a special event at the Mamamia office. (Doing our best to rep EndoActive and our cause wherever we can) The Hon. Julia Gillard came in for a Q and A session about her recently released autobiography, ‘My Story’ and to answer questions from Mamamia readers. She was interviewed by Mamamia’s Editor in Chief – Jamila Rizvi, while a select few (about 40 staff and us) got to sit very close and watch. What a privilege. She spoke so candidly and honestly about a whole range of topics; her life before, during and after being Prime Minister, gender issues, education, policies & politics, that WONDERFUL misogyny speech (which I remember watching live during Question Time while I was interning at Mamamia, on the telly with a room full of women standing, cheering and applauding – it was beyond amazing) and a whole bunch of other stuff.
HOLLER!! Today is a new day and it’s hard to believe I was a depressed cave woman unable to pry my white-knuckled fists from the corners of my doona for the past 2 days because today I feel fantastic! I was up bright and early, back on track with Kayla Itsine’s workout plan, hit the gym, read over my Endo fact notes, dressed up like I was Hittin’ da cleerb and at my meeting with the gorgeous Lauren from Cosmo by 11am.
Today I’m feeling amazing! It IS only 10am and I AM writing this in the bath tub drinking tea and listening to Eminem so how could I not feel good but still…
This week I’ve begun rigorous training of strengthening myself physically, mentally & emotionally. If I have to learn to live with a chronic disease, I cannot let Endo rule my life, otherwise I’ll spend the rest of my days in bed or on the couch. I want to toughen up (by no means be a martyr) and break the cycle I’ve fallen into where I do nothing even when my pain is at a 3 or 4 out of 10. I’m trying this new thing where I add more structure to my life and force myself to do things even when I’m in pain, rather than surrendering to it and crashing on the couch all the time.
Les & Syl at a family wedding
By LESLEY FREEDMAN
Here we are at a family wedding just a few months ago. I love this photo. My daughter looks happy and healthy. I don’t look too wrinkly.
But halfway through the reception someone tapped me on the shoulder: “Your daughter’s lying on the floor in the bathroom. I think she has to go home.”
She was diagnosed with Endometriosis a couple of years ago, but that was my first experience of how suddenly and brutally Endo can take her from the party to the pits. A few weeks later she was in hospital for her second surgery in less than two years. She’s unlucky to be at stage 4 – the most severe – and she’s only 23.
